Wednesday, April 08, 2009


Beautiful Katie

Kate in 2005

After a long stressful weekend we took Kate to the vet clinic on Monday and had her put to sleep. I won't go into all the gory details but I will write about a few of the things that happened which made the decision to end her life a bit easier. Kate had been getting weaker and was not eating. Last weekend she started wandering around the house looking for places to hide. When she was not pacing she spent most of her time sleeping. Several times over the weekend she would wake up and quickly raised her head as if someone had called her name. She would then tilt her head back and point her nose up as if she was smelling something interesting. She would stay like that for about 30 seconds and then slowing lay back down. Each time she did this she would look off into the distance and not at us.

Sunday night to keep her from pacing we put the doggie playpen up in the living room and put her bed inside. I slept on the couch so I would be close at hand when she needed me. It was a long night. Monday we still could not get her to eat and she also refused water. My husband and I were sure it was time but still hesitated. What if we were wrong? What if she started eating again? Maybe we should wait another day. As we talked I glanced over at Kate and saw my mother staring back at me. I started crying, that look of weariness in Katie's eyes was also in my mother's eyes the last time I saw her alive. It was time. Before we made the drive to the vet we did what we always promised to do when this day came, we bought her a hamburger from the bar and fed it to her. She ate it all.

I was grieving Kate because I wanted her to be with me for a lifetime. I see now she was but it was for her lifetime, almost fifteen years, not mine. For that I thank her. Kate was a gentle soul described by everyone who met her as being a sweetheart. She was definitely that but she was also very Zen. I guess the best way to explain that statement is to describe just how it felt when I hugged each one of my dogs. Duke is a living example of the phrase happiness is a warm puppy. It is very soothing to hug him. Emma was totally different. She was like holding on to a electrical cable. When you put your ear to her body you could heard the energy humming through her. Kate also hummed but what you heard was nothing like Emma. The sound she made was, "AAaauuuuummmmm."

She was the sound of bliss.

She was my Buddha girl.

No comments: