Thursday, September 08, 2011

Woo Hoo! Let's Party!

Early yesterday morning I went into the hospital for a routine screening test that included sedation.  At 8:51 AM I signed a discharge form that contained the following:
3. Instructions following monitored anesthesia care.
    a. DO NOT drive a motor vehicle or operate any machinery for 12 hours.
    b. DO NOT drink alcoholic beverages for 12 hours.
    c. DO NOT  take sedatives, narcotics or tranquilizers for 12 hours unless specifically  permitted  by your physician.
    d. DO NOT make any binding legal decision within the next 12 hours.
At 9:00 PM I downed a Bloody Mary, jumped into my car, drove over to a Military Recruitment Center, and enlisted in the Navy WAVES. I also talked to my doctor but, unfortunately, she refused to give me any medical marijuana. How can I completely follow official hospital instructions when my own doctor won't cooperate with me? No wonder our health care system is in such bad shape!

10 comments:

Ally Bean said...

Very funny.  Good point.  What's the magic of 12 hours?

la peregrina said...

I thought it was because it takes that long for the anesthesia to clear your system but it is now 33 hours since I left the hospital and my taste buds are still misinterpreting the taste of food.

Cop Car said...

la peregrina--About 12 years, for what may have been a similar proceedure, my husband had to sign a similar form - so that he could be held legally responsible for my actions over the next 24 hours.

BTW:  WAVE = Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service.  The WAVE designation went away ages ago. Back in 1980, when I enlisted in the USNR, word hadn't quite gotten around. My first weekend, I was mildly interested in overhearing to some of the (male) troops talk about a new WAVE - until I discovered that they were talking about ME!

la peregrina said...

He was held legally responsible for your actions? That is interesting. As for the WAVES designation, I knew it was an obsolete term and I put it in so people would know I was kidding but I  didn't know it was in use until almost 1980.  I thought it was only used during Word War II.  Well,  I learned something new today. :)

Cop Car said...

la peregrina--That was the implication of the paperwork (that my husband would be responsible for my actions) even though I doubt it would have held up in court. I think they just wanted to let someone know that it was a serious thing.

WAVES was obsolete by 1980, of course, but the guys still used it, obviously. From HowItWorks: "After the war was over, the Navy didn't disband WAVES. Officials finally began to realize the benefits of including women in the military. Thus, in 1948, Congress passed the Women's Armed Services Integration Act, which made women a permanent fixture in the military. As a result, the WAVES unit was finally dissolved."

Cop Car said...

lp--I should have made it clear that, the reason it took me a while to figure out that the guys were talking about ME was that I knew I was a sailor, not a WAVE.

la peregrina said...

Yeah, you girls are so touchy about things like that. <img></img>

la peregrina said...

Yeah, you girls are so touchy about things like that. ;)

Cop Car said...

OMG! Did you just call me a girl?!!!! ; )

la pergrina said...

LOL! :-D