November 1st- 5th, 2001

I spend the first three days of November resting at my sister's house and on the fourth day my brother-in-law drives me to the airport in Brussels for my flight home. His seven year old daughter comes with us, and about two hours into the trip we start eating the sandwiches my sister made for us. This is when I find out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are considered very strange by the children of Holland. My sister made PB&J and plain jelly sandwiches and when I pass one sandwich back to my niece I do not look to see what kind of sandwich it is. When she bites into it she makes a sound of disgust and begins explaining to her father that she got a PB&J sandwich. I find a jelly sandwich and trade sandwiches with her. When she hands me her sandwich I take a big bite out of it and say, "Hummm, hummm, hummm," while chewing. She laughs so I offered her another bite but she pushes it away while laughing even more. Who knew a peanut butter and jelly sandwich could be considered exotic?

The flight home is psychologically excruciating. Time seems to have slowed down and seconds are like hours. The walk was shorter than this flight. When I reach Denver I walk to the baggage claim area where my husband is waiting for me. As with my sister, I don't "see" him until he says hello and again I feel nothing and stare at him as if he is a stranger. Even when I hug him I feel nothing. We are staying at my youngest sister's house for the night and the drive there helps me get over this disconnected feeling I have. It is good to be almost home.

The next day we make the three-hour drive to our house and those three hours are worse than the airplane trip. It seems as if the drive will never end. My body aches. My mind aches. I feel trapped in the car. The closer we get to home the more agony I am in. The last mile is almost unbearable. Then we reach the turn-off into town and the pain recedes and I feel calmer. As we pull up to our house I feel a great sense of relief. Finally, this trip is really over. I remember what B said about spending six weeks on the couch after she walked the Appalachian Trail. I think I will do the same thing.