What Do You Know, I've Been Doing It All Wrong

The above advice came from this book.

A section of the original page.

Dog Philosophy

Dogs And Cats Living Together!

Born For The Job

One Big Happy by Rick Detorie

(Note: D.M.V. is the Department of Motor Vehicles.)

Portmanteau

:  a word or morpheme whose form and meaning are derived from a blending of two or more distinct forms (as smog from smoke and fog) -Merriam-Webster Dictionary

24 Brilliant Portmanteaus ....well, maybe not that brilliant but definitely amusing. 

Sounds About Right

Cream And Sugar Friday

Get That Cat Two Pairs Of Air Jordans!

Your Theory Is Crazy

but not crazy enough to be true.
Niels Bohr

    One Big Happy by Rich Detorie

Let's Not Talk About The Wind Anymore (Still Blowing)

Let's point out a Colorado truth instead.

Living In An Apple Juice Hater's World

Me and my girl go to the grocery store. Mott's fresh pressed apple juice, $1.79 for a half gallon, that's a great sale, so we get eight bottles.  Eight bottles are on the belt in front of us. There's an old man and he's looking back, shaking his head like, "Nah. Nope."

And I'm like, "What wrong, old man? You mad  'cause we got all this apple juice?  'Cause you can go get some too.  It's over there in aisle four. But if not, stop judging us 'cause, hell yeah, we're hoarding this juice. Taking advantage of this sale before the store realizes what a horrible mistake they made.  And you know what? We're back here happy with our apple juice. You're up there lonely with your Hormel Chili, you lonely Hormel Chili eating old man."

It took me a minute to realize he wasn't shaking his head 'cause of the apple juice. He was shaking his head because my girlfriend was white and he didn't agree with that. But I was so caught up in the euphoria of having all that apple juice, that for like a minute I lived in a world where racism didn't exist. I was like,"It's obvious that this old man is just an apple juice hater.
-Hannibal Buress

It's Herrman Rorschach's Birthday!

And Google is celebrating it with ink blots. My results:

1. Two bears chilling.

2. Two bears playing jump rope with a frog.

3. Two bears sitting on a couch.

4. A bear showing the size of a fish he caught.

5. Two bears dancing.

6. A bear in gymnastics doing the splits.

7. Two bears pretending to be unicorns.

8. I got nothing.

9. Two bears hiding behind a hedge.

10. Two bear heads.

11. A very buff bear conducting an orchestra.

12.  Two bears sleeping.  

13. A Teddy Bear.

14. A bear wearing a raccoon coat and Elton John glasses holding two firecrackers.

Why I Have Only Posted Once This Week

Real Welcome To Colorful Colorado signs here.

A Bear Walks Into A Bar In Estes Park

A bear walks into a bar in Estes Park and orders a beer.
The bartender sets a Coors in front of him and says, "That’ll be $17.50. You know, we don’t get many bears in here.”

Bear, “At these prices I can see why.”

Spot The Pessimist

The Next Pope?

Now that Pope Benedict XVI is stepping down who should be the next pope? Why Father Sarducci of course!

What's In A Name?

So, my sister went to a poetry reading this weekend and ended up talking with an Irish poet. This native of the ould sod asked my sister what her name was and she, of course, replied, "Tara Shannon."

His reaction to this bit of information was something like, "Jezz, why didn't your mother just call you Ireland? The only thing worse would be if she had named you Colleen."

My sister, suppressing her laughter, said, "That's my sister's name."

Then they both roared with laughter. So did I when my sister told me this story.

I May Be The Last Time Lord But I Am Never Ever Bored

Muppet parodies!

If Computer Programers Wrote Math Textbooks For Children

"Agggh! Agggh! Come To Festival! Me Hungry!"