Dear Representative Humphrey,
I woke-up this morning to the news that your Colorado Freedom of Conscience Protection Act has died in committee. I was saddened and confused by this as the law would have only protected the religious rights of every citizen of Colorado.
As Christian I would have no longer have to do business with Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, or Transgender people since The Holy Book says that, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." Of course those words are in the Old Testament and not the New Testament which means Jesus never said them, he said things like, "Love thy neighbor" and "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” But those other words are in The Holy Book so this makes my actions righteous.
As a Jew I would have no longer have to do business with any menstruating woman as the Torah says menstruating women are unclean for seven days. Of course, as a Christian I would have been able to do the same thing as the Torah is really the Old Testament and a part of The Holy Book. In fact, since I cannot really tell whether or not a woman is menstruating, I would not have done business with any women all.
As a Hindu I would have no longer have to do business with anyone wearing leather shoes, clothing, a watch with a leather strap, or anyone carrying a leather bag, suitcase or briefcase as cows are sacred to me. I would also not have done business with anyone who walked into my business eating a McDonald's hamburger.
As a Druid I would no longer have to do business with anyone who puts up a Christmas tree as trees are sacred to me. I would have also had the right not to do business with anyone who puts up a fake Christmas tree since that person would only be mocking my beliefs.
As a worshiper of the Ngen I would no longer have to do business with anyone who defiles nature. Woe to you who treat nature with no respect and molest the animals with in it. There are not many of us Ngen worshipers but those of us will probably be working for the Parks Service. I wouldn't want to be you on the day I work the entry gate at Rocky Mountain National Park. If you try to come in the west entrance, you will be stuck in a line of vehicles that reaches back to Granby.
As for the supposed negative effects to our economy that opponents of this law presented, how many gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender or female or leather wearing or McDonald's hamburger eating or Christmas tree puter- uppers or nature defiling tourists really come to Colorado to ski, visit the parks or attend conventions? Not that many, I'll bet!
What the people who are against this law do not realize is that passing it would have helped end terrorism and improved our relationship with the Islamic States. Once the Islamic people learned that we had passed a religion based law, just like one of their Sharia Laws, they would have known that we as a people are righteous.
Allah, I mean, God be with you,
PS Since President Trump will soon be closing down all social media to prevent people from criticizing him I will be sending you a copy of this letter by snail mail.
Link to Denver Post article, Religious freedom bill dies in Colorado House.