Speaking Your Truth

"Recy Taylor died ten days ago, just shy of her 98th birthday. She lived as we all have lived, too many years in a culture broken by brutally powerful men. For too long, women have not been heard or believed if they dare speak the truth to the power of those men. But their time is up. Their time is up."
-Oprah Winfrey, Golden Globes, 2018





Oprah Winfrey's speech at the Golden Globes; the Republican Party's worst nightmare.

Listen up GOP. We are coming for you- you who dismiss us, you who demean us, you who patronize us, you who try to control us, and you who undervalue our worth. You, who helped put a bigoted, sexist, racist, demented man into the White House. You, who enable said man in a desperate attempt to hang on to your power over us. We are coming for you.

What Do You Know, I've Been Doing It All Wrong

The above advice came from this book.

A section of the original page.

Sitting Pretty

Sitting on a Low Chair or Stool. Whenever it is necessary for you to sit in a chair that is so low your Knees come under you chin, it will be more flattering for you to put both feet to one side and thereby get your knees down. If you put you feet to the right, the right foot is just slightly in front of the left.
-1950s advice to women.

"What?"

Go Red For Women Day

Fight Heart Disease In Women.

Women

We are damned if we do and damned if we don't.

Lady In Red

I've been reading a book about 1950s horror comic books and the 1954 Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency Hearing that led to the censorship of comic book industry. The Horror! The Horror! has numerous wonderful color photos of the covers of the comic books which brought about the creation of the Comics Code Authority. What I found interesting is that the majority of the women on these covers are wearing red.







What does it mean? Does in represent blood and a bloody death? Are they scarlet women who deserve to die? The covers do bring to mind all those Halloween and Friday the 13th movies in which any girl who has sex dies a horrible death because she deserves to for breaking society's code which states only bad girls have sex outside of marriage. I think the color red on these covers represent all three; blood, bloody death, and the scarlet women who deserve to die.

Our society has not moved one step past this archaic view of women. Think of how easily the word slut is thrown around and how lower back tattoos on women is now described by the derogatory phrase tramp stamp, implying that any women who has one is sexually promiscuous. Of course the bar for just what is considered sexually promiscuous when it comes to women is a whole lot lower than what it is for a man. When are we as a society going to stop defining women by their sexual behavior?

I'm An Ape Man

Come on and love me, be my apeman girl,
And we'd be so happy in my apeman world.
- I'm An Apeman by The Kinks

I went to the post office yesterday to pick up the mail and there on top of the pile was a letter from my State Representative Jerry Moran addressed to my husband. I flipped though the stack of mail looking for my letter but there wasn't one. I guess old Jer thinks women shouldn't be consulted about important political issues. This seems to be the thinking of many Republicans these days.

Gentlemen, this song's for you.

I think I'm sophisticated 'cos I'm living my life like a good homosapien,
But all around me everybody's multiplying and they're walking round like flies, man,

So I'm no better than the animals sitting in their cages in the zoo, man,
'Cos compared to the flowers and the birds and the trees, I am an apeman.

I think I'm so educated and I'm so civilized 'cos I'm a strict vegetarian,
But with the over-population and inflation and starvation and the crazy politicians,

I don't feel safe in this world no more,
I don't want to die in a nuclear war,
I want to sail away to a distant shore and make like an ape man.

I'm an apeman, I'm an ape, apeman, Oh, I'm an apeman,
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man, oh I'm an apeman.

'Cos compared to the sun that sits in the sky,
Compared to the clouds as they roll by,
Compared to the bugs and the spiders and flies,
I am an apeman.

In man's evolution he has created the city and the motor traffic rumble,
But give me half a chance and I'd be taking off my clothes and living in the jungle.

'Cos the only time that I feel at ease,
Is swinging up and down in a coconut tree,
Oh, what a life of luxury, to be like an apeman.

I'm an apeman, I'm an ape, apeman, Oh, I'm an apeman,
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man, I am an ape man.

I look out the window, but I can't see the sky,
The air pollution is fogging up my eyes,
I want to get out of this city alive,
And make like an ape man.

Come on and love me, and be my apeman girl,
And we'd be so happy in my apeman world.

I'm an apeman, I'm an ape, apeman, Oh, I'm an apeman,
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man, Oh, I'm an apeman.

I'll be your Tarzan, you'll be my Jane,
I'll keep you warm and you'll keep me sane,
And we'll sit in the trees and eat bananas all day,
Just like an apeman.

I'm an apeman, I'm an ape, apeman, Oh, I'm an apeman,
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man, Oh, I'm an ape man.

I don't feel safe in this world no more
I don't want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore
And make like an apeman.

La,la,la,la,la,la,la,la
La, la, la

REMEMBER TO VOTE!

"Lower voter participation is a silent threat to our democracy...It under-represents young people, the poor, the disabled, those with little education, minorities and you and me."
-Nancy Neuman

Don't throw away your hard earned right to do so.

1. Why Women Should Vote.

2. American Women Suffrage.

3. Selma to Montgomery (click on "gallery" for photos).

4. Take Stock (click on "Voting Rights more information" for a description of the photos).

Making The E-mail Rounds

One day, in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vain and glorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But.....he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great." says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?"

"Well... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring, so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret.......You know, woman to woman."

Do You Know What It Feels Like For A Girl?

-Title of Madonna song



Via Sharp Sand

The Fabulous Moolah

I just finished reading Lillian Ellison's autobiography, The Fabulous Moolah: First Goddess Of The Squared Circle. I got it from the library after reading an obituary earlier this month about her death. Ellison was one of the big stars of women's wrestling in the 1950's, a subject that has always interested me since it is a part of early television history.

When television started most sets were being sold to bars, taverns, and saloons. The companies building these sets were also the companies that owned the television stations. Since their main objective was to sell as many television sets as possible they knew they had to find programing that would bring in the audience they needed to accomplish this goal-and as cheaply as possible. One of the things they came up with was wrestling. It was a big hit and Lillian Ellison was a part of it. At first she played the role of Slave Girl Moolah* to other male wrestlers but soon became The Fabulous Moolah and fought her way up to women's world championship title. She held that title on and off for the next 30 years.

The book is not that good but it is an enjoyable read. Lillian tells so many lies it is hard to tell just what is the truth. Well, maybe they aren't lies really just exaggerations. Like when she says she picked 100 pounds of cotton a day when she was only eight years old or when she says she would hide a length of pipe in her tights and used it to bonk her opponents on the head or when she describes all of her bouts as if the outcome wasn't know before she stepped into the ring. This includes the time she won the World Wrestling Entertainment's Undisputed Women's Championship in 1999 at age, well, she's not telling but does admit she was in her seventies at the time.

What I most admire about Lillian Ellison is how she had a passion for wrestling and did not let anyone talk her out of it. She and the other women who wrestled in the early and middle part of the last century were willing to get into a ring and be as unlady like as possible in a time where being ladylike was the most important quality a woman could possess.

Lillian Ellison never let society tell her who she was nor did she let it tell her how she should act in old age. She says this about going back to wrestle in her late sixties/early seventies:

...I also wanted to come back to prove a point to people my age. Life doesn't have to end when you get your AARP card in the mail. Mae (Young), Katie (Diamond Lil Glass), and I stay away from senior citizen's outings because it always feels like too many people our age give in, give up, and stop living. I've always been about getting off of my ass and going after life, rather than waiting around to die. I figured if by watching me, one sixty or seventy-something fan get up off his or her duff and goes out and does something, experiences something new, different, and challenging, well, then my comeback will be well worth it.

All our lives society is not so subtly pressuring us to act a certain way depending on our sex or age and I have always felt that pressure. I've managed to resist it for the most part and like Lillian, I hope I continue to do so.


Lillian Ellison's wrestling Bio.

Website of Lipstick and Dynamite, a film about early women's wrestling.

A Review of Lipstick and Dynamite.

A short history of professional wrestling.

*She got the name "Moolah" when she was asked why she got into the wrestling game and answered, "For the moolah." Moolah is slang for money.

Traveling Through Time and Inner Space

I've been sick this week with a head cold that has migrated into my ears. I am taking decongestants and antihistamines in an effort to keep any infection from developing. These medications are making me drowsy and light-headed so for most of the week have been reading and sleeping.

So far I have read Amy Patrica Meade's, Million Dollar Baby, a murder mystery set in the 1930's, Ellen Burstyn's autobiography, Lessons In Becoming Myself, and Conrad Allen's (aka Edward Marston), Murder on the Celtic, a murder mystery set in 1910.

The murder mysteries were a journey to another time and place. Burstyn's book was also a journey but a different kind of journey- a journey into another person's inner space. The book is both a memoir and the story of her "quest for greater self-knowledge and deeper spiritual perception." I don't know if it was the effect of the drugs but reading this book was a blast of fresh air for my mind and spirit.

I just started reading Norman Doidge's The Brain That Changes Itself, described by Oliver Sacks as a book that ...is a remarkable and hopeful portrait of the endless adaptability of the human brain. When I finish that I will go on to Sue Monk Kidd's The Mermaid Chair, a book that has been described by author Connie May Fowler as...a wonderful novel about mothers and daughters and the transcendent power of love, all the while masterfully illuminating the feminine face of God.

Reading is food for the brain and soul. This week I seem to be enjoying a smorgasbord.

Who's Calling?

Last week I found out that I have been living in a small town too long.

On Friday my husband left on a trip to Phoenix, AZ for a French Britteny field trial. That left me home alone with the dogs for the weekend. Early Saturday morning the phone rang. I got out of bed to answered it. A man's voice said, "This is Ted Hewitt, may I speak to your husband?"

I have answered these kinds of phone calls from the old men in town many times. They call to get my husband's help with their computers, appliances, and electric tools. A lot of the time when they call they ask for "my husband" instead of asking for him by name. They also don't seen to notice the time when they call and in my sleepy state I did not think it was strange that one of them would be calling at 2:30 in the morning. I replied, "He's not here."

A shot of adrenaline exploded in my brain as I realized I had just told someone I did not know that my husband wasn't home. I quickly said, "I'm mean, he can't come to the phone right now." Which was just as stupid. The voice asked, "He can't come to the phone?" and followed up with an obscene remark. Then he hung up.

At this point I freaked out. That call sounded like it came from a cell phone. What if he was somewhere outside the house? I was paralyzed by fear. My first thought was to go to the basement and get my shotgun out of the gun safe but at the same time I was afraid to walk downstairs. What if he was already in the house? What if he was in the basement? My need to do something to protect myself overrode my fear that he may be in the house. I walked downstairs and opened the gun safe and took out my shotgun and a few shells. Just the action of walking to the basement calmed me down. I walked back upstairs and into my bedroom and leaned the shotgun against the wall beside the bed. Still freaked out, I got back into bed, picked up a book, and started reading.

An hour later I was still reading when the dogs decided they needed to go outside. I was hesitant about letting them out but at the same time felt I was being a little foolish so I went and unlocked the front door and pulled it open. The shrill ring of the phone made me jump as another bolt of fear shot through me. He is out there! But the dogs weren't barking so I knew no one was around and I walked over to the phone. I could see the words "private caller" in the window of the handset. I knew it was him again and I stood there counting the rings...three...four...five...six- the phone kicked over to record- then silence.

Funny thing, even though I knew it was him I no longer felt any fear. There is some kind of synergy between two people whenever they talk on a phone. A obscene caller feeds on that synergy. If I did not answer the phone he could not get what he needed, my fear. My not answering the phone gave me back some semblance of control. Control lessened my fear. I let the dogs back in and went back to bed. By this time I was emotionally exhausted and no longer able to fight the weariness that was overtaking my body. I slept fitfully until daybreak.

All day Saturday I brooded about what had happened and worried he would call again that night. I kept my anxiety under control during the day but once night fell I no longer felt safe. Before I went to bed I carefully checked all the doors and windows to make sure they were locked. I had the dogs with me and that helped. I knew if they heard anything that wasn't normal night noises they would bark furiously. I had the shotgun right next to the bed but after I got into bed I worried that I would not be able to get to it quickly enough if something happened. I leaned over and picked it up and laid it next to me on the bed. I felt a little silly doing this but when I put my hand out and brushed my fingertips across the barrel I instantly felt calmer and more secure. I slept well and woke up the next morning feeling refreshed.

Now, I know that some people reading this may think I was behaving like a hysterical women and overreacting. You are probably men. You do not understand how dangerous the world really is for women. I'll bet you have never had an obscene phone call wake you up in the middle of the night. I'll bet you have never felt unsafe in your own home. I'll bet you don't hesitate to step into an elevator with a man you do not know. I'll bet you aren't filled with anxiety when walking to or from your car at night in a seemingly deserted parking lot or garage. I'll also bet you haven't experienced that same feeling of anxiety while walking home from the bus after dark.

Women are surrounded by the reminders of just how unsafe life is for us everyday. The newspapers are full of stories about violence against women; rapes, assaults, and murders. There are stories about rape used as a weapon in war torn nations . In some societies rape is being used as an instrument of punishment. If you don't watch the news you can see this brutality toward women being played out in the plots of many television shows almost every night.

Maybe I was being hysterical. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I have a reason to do both.

American Culture Is Not Healthy For Women Or Other Living Things

Last Sunday,October 15, 2006, I read the following at Joesph Duemer's blog:

Chores
Despite the fact that there is something deeply wrong in the nation, something deeply haywire, I keep doing chores. I'm like Beckett's Molloy crawling through the forest, not toward light, but toward the vague idea that light might exist, except that I find it hard to maintain Molloy's sense of humor. Madmen murder school girls. Boys shoot their teachers & their sisters. America has always treated its women badly, but now we are seeing the embodied, dramatized evidence of misogyny in the actions of men who are exceptional only in that they act on their fantasies. The pure products of America. Go crazy. But it is our particular craziness, my townspeople. In the heart of the heart of the country is an all-consuming hatred of the female. As the US veers toward wider, endless war, the feminine is simply one more thing that is unacceptable in the Late American Empire. So I put up birdfeeders this afternoon, mowed the lawn for the last time this year, cleared the deck, then came in & made dinner in the lovely new kitchen. Am I simply being sentimental? Naive? Last night, watching television, I burst into tears. I think it was during a commercial, but my mind is too fucked-up to remember exactly.

Joe's words were a shotgun blast to my brain and heart. His words were so upsetting to me that I didn't even attempt to answer his questions or acknowledge his pain. Why? Because I was so shocked to see in print the thoughts I have had myself. And no, Joe, you weren't being naive or sentimental. We all should be grieving.

Do You Know, What It Feels Like For A Girl, In This World?

Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak?...
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you be a little less?
-Madonna


I am a feminist.

How does reading that sentence make you feel? Did you cringe? Did you roll your eyes and say to yourself, "Oh, God?" Do you think you now know just what kind of a person I am because of it and what you think is not flattering? Why? What is it about the world feminist that make people react negativity to it? Being called a feminist these days seems to be just as bad as being called a racist. How did that happen? I don't know how many time I've either heard or read a statement about something that has to do with women begin with the words, "I'm not a feminist but...," and then goes on to say something that is actually pro-women.

One definition of the word feminism is, "the theory of political, economical, and social equality of the sexes." I thinks this means a feminist is anyone who believes that women are entitled to the same rights, freedoms, and opportunities as men politically, economically, and socially.

A lot of people today seem to be confused about just what a feminist is and are quick to say they are not one. I hate to tell you this but your dirty little secret is out. You, all of you, no matter how much you protest, are most likely secret feminists:

1. If you believe that women have the right to vote, you are a feminist.

2. If you are a woman and have ever voted in any political election, you are a feminist.

3. If you think women should have the right to run for any political office, you are a feminist.

4. If you are a woman and hold a political position (no matter what anti-feminist views you spout), you are a feminist.

5. If you are a man and hold a political position along with a group of others elected officials that includes women (no matter what anti-feminist views you spout), you are a feminist.

6. If you ever voted for a woman, you are a feminist.

7. If you think women should be allowed to work outside the home, you are a feminist.

8. If you thought, "What do you mean, 'be allowed'," when you read the above sentence, you are a feminist.

9. If you are a woman and work outside the home, you are a feminist.

10. If you think women can run a business just as well as men, you are a feminist.

11. If you are a woman and run a business, you are a feminist.

12. If you think both sexes should be paid the same wage if both are doing the same type of work, you are a feminist.

13. If you think women have the right to work at any job they are physically, emotionally or intellectually able to do, you are a feminist.

14. If you think a woman's ability to do a job should be based on her abilities and not her gender, you are a feminist.

15. If you think women have the right to own property, you are a feminist.

16. If you think girls (including your own daughter) should be sent to school the same as boys, you are a feminist.

17. If you think girls (including your own daughter) should be taught to read and write the same as boys, you are a feminist.

18. If you think young woman (including your own daughter) should be allowed to attend college the same as young men, you are a feminist.

19. If you are a woman and attend or graduated from a college, you are a feminist.

20. If you are a parent and sent your daughter to college, you are a feminist.

21. If you think women have the right to decide for themselves whether or not they have children, you are a feminist.

I could go on but I won't. Being a feminist has nothing to do with using the same bathrooms as men, being a bitch, being a lesbian, being uppity, hating men, or wanting to be a man; all things I have heard said about feminists. As I said back at the beginning of this post, I think a feminist is anyone who believes that women are entitled to the same rights, freedoms, and opportunities as men politically, economically, and socially. Anything less is discrimination.

He Hit Me (It Felt Like A Kiss)

Right before Christmas my husband discovered Darlene Love. He was listening to Christmas tunes on the radio in the car when her rocking version of Winter Wonderland came on. After hearing all the other sedate traditional Christmas songs that had been played before it, this one just blew him away. So I decide to get him a CD with the Darlene Love version of Winter Wonderland on it. What I found was A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector. Then I decide to see if anything else was out there and found the Phil Spector box set Back to Mono (1958-1969) and was blow away myself. Not only did it contain A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector, it contained three other CD's that gave a musical history of Spector's record producing career.

The three CD's had great songs and great artists like: Spanish Harlem (Ben E King); River Deep Mountain High (Ike and Tina Turner); Then He Kissed Me (The Crystals); Be My Baby (The Ronettes); Black Pearl (Sonny Charles and the Checkmates) ; (Today I Met) The Boy I'm Going to Marry (Darlene Love); and You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin' (The Righteous Brothers).

When the CD's got here we played A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector right away. I enjoyed that so much I put one of the other CD's in and on the tenth cut heard The Crystals singing these words:

He hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me but it didn't hurt me
He couldn't stand to hear me say,
That I had been with someone new
And when I told him I had been untrue
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me and I knew he loved me
If he didn't care for me
I could have never made him mad
But he hit me and I was glad

Yes he hit me and it felt like a kiss
And then he took me in his arms
With all the tenderness there is
And when he kissed me
He made me his.

What the hell? The Crystals recorded a song that tells girls that it is OK for their boyfriends to smack them around because it proves that they (the boyfriends) love them?

The box set comes with a book and in the back of it all the songs are listed along with someone's brief remarks about each song. This is what is written about He Hit Me(It Felt Like A Kiss):

Barbara Alston sings lead on this early Goffin-King composition for The Crystals which was withdrawn by Spector before it reached the top 100 because he felt the lyrics were too sensitive for pop radio. Goffin admitted that the lyrics were "a little too radical" for their time. Many would agree with his comments today.

"To sensitive for pop radio" and "a little too radical?" What planet do these guys come from?

Oh, BTW, the "King" in Goffin-King is Carole King. She wrote the music and Goffin wrote the lyrics to this song. She was also married to (Gerry) Goffin at the time. Makes you wonder what kind of husband old "Ger" was, doesn't it?