Monday, February 02, 2004

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Yes, please, and I'll have a side of breast with mine, thank you.

Yesterday was that most Holy of Holy Days- Super Bowl Sunday. More than 40% of the country was tuned in to a game that takes one hour to play but four hours to televise. And that is not counting the pre-post game hype. Yes, I was watching too. It was one of the most sloppy, boring, exciting Super Bowls I have seen. Tied at the end with less than 10 seconds to go and the outcome on the shoulders of a man who had managed to miss kicking two field goals earlier in the game. Will he make it or screw the pooch again? He makes it. New England wins the Super Bowl.

But, was this the most exciting thing that happened during the game? No, you have to go to the half time show for that. A half time show that seems to have been staged by the people at Disney World who designed the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Lots of pretend people, doing pretend dancing and pretend singing to pretend music. Then, it happened. Janet Jackson, Janet Jackson exposed her right breast! AGGGH, MY EYES, MY EYES! Well, not really, she exposed a big silver star-shaped pastie that was covering her right breast.

I know. So? So, judging by the media coverage today it was pretty shocking. The FCC (Federal Communications Commission) is looking in to the incident. Good, we can't have women exposing their breasts on TV because it shakes the moral foundation of our country and corrupts innocent children. We have to make sure that our children can only see murder, rape, mutilations, shootings and stabbings since watching examples of blatant violence on television evidently has absolutely no effect on them.

Thank God Super Bowl Sunday only happens once a year.

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