Monday, December 20, 2004

Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

-Monty Python

Dear Spammers,

You seem to be operating under the misconception that I can help you. I am sorry but I cannot.

I do not want to buy a faux Rolex watch no matter how cheap it is or how much it looks like the original.

I do not want to look at photos of naked women. Or men for that matter. If I do want to look at either one I have a mirror and a husband. I also do not want to talk to any naked men or women, again I have a mirror and a husband.

I am not in the need of pain killers, weight loss pills, valium, or "natural male enhancements." Although I am curious about that phrase "natural male enhancement." Isn't that an oxymoron when used to describe a chemical helper?

I do not want to buy any, Super Cheaap Softwares!. I will not do business with anyone who cannot use a spellchecker.

I cannot help you get your money out of your country. Why don't you contact all the other people from the other countries who seem to have a problem getting their money out of their countries? Maybe they can help you.

And I cannot have won your lottery as I did not enter it. You will just have to give the money to someone else.

Colleen Shannon

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