Baling Twine

-Stephanie Davis

Way out in the country, miles from town
Things have a way of breaking down
At the most inconvenient of times.
Which can make the going rather rough
Unless of course you know enough
To always, always, carry baling twine.

Baling twine, you know what I mean
Fluorescent orange polypropylene
That for wrapping bales of hay has proved a winner.
Ah, but friend that's just its start in life
The stuffs got more uses than a Ginsu knife
At the annual Donner Party reunion dinner.

It'll close a gate
Hold your bait
Fasten on your license plate
Tow a sled
Lace a Ked
Hang your deer in the shed
Keep your 'mater plants
And your pants from falling down.

It'll fix a cinch in a pinch
Let your stirrups out an inch
Double as a fan belt
Stretch a pelt, catch a smelt
Baling twine keeps this old world spinning 'round.

Well, I was driving one dark rainy night
Not another soul in sight
When suddenly a deer steps into view.
I brake and swerve and hit the horn
Next thing I know my truck's airborne
And I'm repentin' for things I didn't even do.

Now friends you might not believe this part
But swear to Pete and cross my heart
Just as I'm beginin' my decline
Right out my driver side window
A creature in a UFO
Appears and motions to my baling twine.

Which of course is sitting on the dash
So I toss him one end and lash
The other 'round my truck in record time.
Then he gives me a big thumbs up
And tows me like some astral pup
Safely back to earth on baling twine.

(It could happen)

Well, I leap out and kiss the mud
Hug the neck of my new bud
We toast the lucky stars and talk in mime.
But friends what really steals the show
And flat makes his antennas glow
Is when I give him a piece of baling twine.

There's no moral to this tale
No deep insights to regale
Just a few suggestions you might keep in mind.
Watch for deer on rainy nights
Stick to planes when making flights
And always, always, carry baling twine.

It'll close a gate
Hold your bait
Fasten on your license plate
Tow a sled
Lace a Ked
Hang your deer in the shed
Keep your 'mater plants
And your pants from falling down.

It'll fix a cinch in a pinch
Let your stirrups out an inch
Double as a fan belt
Stretch a pelt, catch a smelt

Tie your turkey legs together
Pitch a tent in any weather
Make a leash for your lizard
Save your family in a blizzard
Hang a wreath, knit a sweater
Floss your teeth, nothing's better
Than baling twine.

Whoa, Whoa, baling twine

When your hanging in the brink
When your running out of luck
The solution might be right there
On the dashboard of your truck
Hey, baling twine
Just a little piece of baling twine.

Always, always, carry baling twine
Hey, always, always, carry baling twine.

You can listen to the song here. Just scroll down and click on the Segment 2 link. The song starts at about 19:25 minutes in on RealPlayer.


Quick off-topic comment: Jumping online from home is making me dizzy. The library connection was so slow I expected to hear the following while I waited, "All our modems are busy. Please hold for the next available modem. All connection will be made in the order in which they were received. Thank you."