Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Anything Goes

I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
-Claude Rains as Captain Renault in Casablanca (1942)

Gold medalist Scotty Lago was kicked out out of the Olympics after these photos started making the rounds. I find the Olympic Committee's outrage to be a bit disingenuous since Lago is a snowboarder. Snowboarders are know to be wild and crazy guys and Snowboarding a wild and crazy popular sport.

Jacques Rogge, this song's for you. Cole Porter's Anything Goes sung by the man himself.

Note: Ignore the films clips, they have nothing to do with the song.

Times have changed
And we've often rewound the clock
Since the Puritans got the shock
When they landed on Plymouth Rock.

If today, any shock they should try to stem
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Plymouth Rock would land on them.

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking
But now, God knows,
Anything goes

Good authors, too, who once knew better words
Now only use four-letter words writing prose,
Anything goes

If driving fast cars you like,
If low bars you like,
If old hymns you like,
If bare limbs you like,
If Mae West you like,
Or me undressed you like,
Why, nobody will oppose

When every night the set that's smart is
Intruding at nudist parties in studios.
Anything goes

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)
Can get Russian Reds to "yes" her,
Then I suppose,
Anything goes.

When Rockefeller still can hoard enough money
To let Max Gordon produce his shows,
Anything goes

The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today,
And black's white today,
And day's night today,
And that gent, today,
You gave a cent today
Once had several chateaus.

When folks who still can ride in jitneys
Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys
Lack baby clothes,
Anything goes.

If Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction
Instruct Anna Sten in diction,
Then Anna shows
Anything goes

When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
Now does a handspring landing up-
On her toes,
Anything goes.

Just think of those shocks you've got
And those knocks you've got
And those blues you've got
From those news you've got
And those pains you've got
(If any brains you've
From those little radios.

So Missus R, with all the trimmin's,
Can broadcast abed from Simmons
'Cause Franklin knows,
Anything goes

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