This has been a hard Christmas for me. On Christmas Eve I put up my tree and decorated it like I do every year but doing so was mentally excruciating. Each ornament I added to the tree only added to my reluctance to continue. I was emotionally swimming against the tide.
Christmas Day started out fine but by afternoon I felt like crying and just wanted the day to be over. Nothing like the Christmas Blues to dampen your spirits. Why was I blue? I guess it was because of this seemingly endless pandemic, the intolerance, racism, selfishness, hypocrisy, lack of respect for the law, and deliberate cruelty on the part of members of Congress, a certain ex-president and his supporters.
This morning I woke up feeling better but still down. Again, why? I called one of my relatives on Christmas day with Christmas greetings and I think I subconsciously perceived that this relative was not going to make it to next Christmas which only added to my depression.
Acknowledging that fear this morning has made me feel sad but as I gazed at my Christmas tree, I realize that I don't have to ignore my feelings about what is going on in the world around me just because it is Christmas. Light shines brightest in the darkness.
