I Need A Laugh Today

Animaniacs- This Pun For Hire

For Cody

Sometimes life gives you a swift kick in the gut. About two hours ago my next door neighbor's son died suddenly at age twenty-two. It is not known yet why he died but his doctor thinks something catastrophic happen to his body. He had been sick for about a week but a virus has been going around town so the fact that he had not been feeling well did not seem threatening in any way. He was at his parents house when he vomited and then collapsed. By the time the ambulance got there he was no longer breathing and they put him on a respirator for the ride to the hospital. Although they did the best they could it was too late.

My husband and I were coming home from the airport when we saw the ambulance pulling away from the front of our neighbor's house followed by my neighbor in her van. As we were getting out of our truck my neighbor's sister, who lives across the street from us, was coming out of her house and my husband asked what was going on. She burst into tears and said it was Cody. We went inside our house hoping everything would be alright. About an hour ago I went to the door to let Duke inside and saw people standing in my neighbors front yard. I knew this was not a good sign and walked over to find out what was going on. Cody's younger sister was sitting on the front steps crying as a friend tried to console her. Hoping things were not as bad as I thought, I ask one of the women leaning against the fence if Cody was OK. She hesitated and then told me Cody had died.

His parents are still in shock as is most everyone who knows them and Cody. Since I heard the news I have been thinking about the sweet little boy who would come over to play with my dogs and the shy, strong, handsome young man who did not hesitate to lend a hand when needed. And I have been thinking about his brother, sister, and parents. It's not fair, it's not fair.

I hate it when bad things happen to good people. I hate the pain that Cody's family is going through right now and the days of grief that are ahead for them. I hate the fact that there is nothing any of us can really do to take that pain away.


Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W. H. Auden

Pulling The Trigger

Sorry I have been MIA for the last few days. On Monday I thought that my cycle of migraines had been caused by the single glass of red wine I had consumer each night the three previous nights. On Tuesday I was wiped out and spent the day taking naps. Wednesday I worked at the library again, same as I did on Monday, and damned if I did not start getting an aura. That is when I realized that the migraines on Monday had also started when I was in the library.

I looked up at the bank of florescent lights above me and wondered if they could be causing my migraines. Then I wondered how many florescent bulbs were actually in the building. Let's see, each light panel has four florescent tube bulbs and there are....I stopped counting panels after I reached the number forty-four. That means there are at least 176 bulbs in the main room of the library alone. Some of those 176 bulbs were out, some of those 176 bulbs were flickering, and some of those 176 were out but still buzzing.

At this point in time I'm not sure if the lights caused my migraines, or if the wine cause my migraines, or if the combination of the two things together caused my migraines. I do know I still feel like crap and I that am taking the rest of the week off. See you all Monday.

Get Your Choo Choo On

Midwest Living, May/June 2008

Love this graphic but they have ruined the layout of this ad by cramming all that small print into the space at the bottom. Times have certainly changed.

Soul Food To Go

Today is my birthday and I woke up with these lyrics on my mind:

My, oh my, oh the feelin', of the sound
Precious and real...


Manhattan Transfer- Soul Food To Go




My, oh my, oh the feelin' of the sound
Precious and real and ooh that's nice
Whip up some steamin' jazz
The pot is on the stove it's cookin'

Want some more we always save some
Art nouveau for special patrons
You look nice do you believe in jazz?

Kansas City to Brazil
It even gets you hot in your home
Kansas City to Brazil
I say blow your top blow your own

Ooo ooo ah
This Be-bop's too much
I know you know Hip Hop never stops
I'll pour you tasty funk
We got cool and hot just for you
The pleasures of the soul
Come on come in and check it out
Ooo c'est si bon

Ooo ooo ah
This Be-bop's too much
I know you know Hip hop never stop
I'll pour you tasty funk
We got cool and hot just for you
The pleasures of the soul
Come on come in and check it out
Soul food to go


My, oh my, oh the feelin' of the sound
Precious and real and ooh that's nice
Whip up some steamin' jazz
The pot is on the stove it's cookin'

Want some more we always save some
Art nouveau for special patrons
You look nice do you believe in jazz?

Kansas City to Brazil
It even gets you hot in your home
Kansas City to Brazil
I say blow your top blow your own

Ooo ooo ah
This Be-bop's too much
I know you know Hip Hop never stops
I'll pour you tasty funk
We got cool and hot just for you
The pleasures of the soul
Come on come in and check it out
Ooo c'est si bon

Ooo ooo ah
This Be-bop's too much
I know you know Hip Hop never stop
I'll pour you tasty funk
We got cool and hot just for you
The pleasures of the soul
Come on come in and check it out
Soul food to go


Yeah, yeah yeah...

And Planes

Time, January 24, 1955

What is most interesting about his ad is that the three companies mentioned it it no longer exist. Capital Airlines was bought out by United Airlines in 1961, Vicker Aircraft was merged into BAC (British Aircraft Corporation) in 1960, and Collins Radio was bought out by Rockwell International in nineteen seventy three.

The Kansas Rectangle

(Illustration from The Onion: America's finest news source)

This mysterious region has, according to some accounts, swallowed thousands of potentially interesting and active lives. Including mine.

And Boats

Time, January 3, 1955

The French Line has been operating in one form or another since 1851. This drawing is most likely of the SS Ile De France. The French Line's greatest ship was the SS Normandie, a ship the US Navy accidentally set fire to and then capsized in 1942.


History and ships of the French Line here.

Another Reason Why The Rest Of The World Hates Us

This is a photo of the Newell Motor Coach towing a Hummer2 that was parked almost outside my house on Saturday. Tiny, isn't it? The damn thing took up over a quarter of the block.

This motor coach holds over 200 gallons of diesel and burns fuel at a rate of 7.0 to 4.9 MPG (miles per gallon). The miles per gallon drop if you are towing something and that decrease in MPG is based on the weight of what you are towing at the time.

The Hummer2 (vehicle plus gas) weights in at 6,614 pounds and has a fuel rating of 10 MPG. The Hummer MPG rating is not listed at the Hummer website, this MPG is based on customer experience.

It is not surprising that the USA is the number one oil consumer of the world gulping down 20,697.53 billion barrels of petroleum in 2007. Our closest competitor was China who used about two-thirds less than we did during that same time period. They consumed 7,201 billion barrels.

We are oil pigs and misguided souls who think our "right" to travel anywhere in our own personal cocoons of steel and rubber is more important than any damage we are doing to our planet. It's time to bite the bullet and admit that the only way this is going to get better is if we reallocate a larger percentage of our taxes toward this problem and invest in clean, energy efficient, public transportation along with renewable energy sources. This may also mean a increase in our taxes but it is time to realize that when it comes to government services you get what you do or don't pay for.

Trains

Time, 1955

Back when trains were still the dominant means of cross country travel, although the railroads must have known the end was coming.

The Union Pacific Railroad has been operating since 1862. You will find a present day UPRR system map here.