Friday, May 07, 2004

"The next ten days promise to be major milestones in your personal history"

Any major milestones during those ten days? Lets see.

Tue-April 20th
Today is my husband and my anniversary and we spend the morning driving to Denver where I put him on a plane for Boise, Idaho. He is going to have knee surgery and will be spending the next nine days up there. We have a friend who is a orthopedic surgeon and he will be doing the operation. I plan on spending tonight and tomorrow at my sister's house.

Wed.-April 21th
Drive my niece to school and spend the day helping my sister connect her computer to wireless Internet. After that I go and pick my niece up from school and drive her home. Whenever I am in Denver I try to drive my niece to and from school because it gives me extra time with her. She is a big, big South Park fan and we talk about that and what is going on in her life. My husband calls to say the surgery went well. After he hangs up, Mike, our doctor friend, calls to tell me everything went well in a little more detail. He is a good man. My sister ask me to stay another day and I do.

Thu.-April 22th
Drive my niece to school again in the morning and spend the day shopping for stuff I cannot get at home. Go to Borders and end up buying a copy of Lily Dale:the true story of the town that talks to the dead.* Its a book about the town where the Spiritualist movement in this country is centered. I enjoy it so much I read it in one day. Again pick up my niece and drive her home from school.

I notice there is a strange kind of wound on the inside of Kate's right leg just above what would be the ankle on a human. The wound 1 cm by 3 cm, well, its not really a wound but an area where all the hair is missing. I can see the skin but Kate does not act like it is hurting and the area does not look like it is infected. Maybe she tripped and scrapped the hair off coming up the wooden steps to my sisters back deck.

Fri-April 23th
Wake up to a snowstorm and the weathermen on TV asking anyone who could to just stay home. I decide to stay another day. My sister decides my niece should not go to school and she and I stay home and just hang out. Sometimes she goes outside and plays with the dogs or to build small snowanimals. My sister goes to work but at 2:00 PM calls to say she is has been sent home. By the time she gets home the storm has eased up. In fact its not as bad as expected, with the ground so warm that the six inches that has fallen so far already melting.

We decide to go to Barnes and Noble Bookstore over on Colorado Blvd in Glendale and peruse the books. My niece is spending the weekend with her father and since Barnes and Noble is close to where he works he comes by the store after work to pick her up. I cannot seem to get out of a bookstore without buying something and I leave with two books for myself ( A Woman's Book of Strength: an empowering guide to total mind/body fitness, The Waking Dream: unlocking the symbolic language of our lives) and two books (Ain't misbehavin', Killing Dragons:the conquest of the alps) as Get Well gifts for my husband.

After leaving the bookstore my sister and I decide to eat dinner at Las Delicias just around the corner-good Mexican food. When we get there the parking lot is jammed full of cars. Since we are very hungry we don't stop but head for a place my sister knows about on Hampton Ave. Funny, when we first headed for Las Delicias I thought, "We're going to end up at The Bent Noodle." Now we are driving to a part of town I don't know very well and when we get to the restaurant we find out it is not the one my sister was thinking about. We drive on and then turn down a street I've never been on before looking for any Mexican restaurant. We are almost to Parker Road when my sister points out that The Bent Noodle is to the left of us. We eat there, how can you fight what's meant to be?

Sat-April 24th/ Wed-April 27th
Saturday I drive home and am surprised by how fast the week passes. On Wednesday my husband calls and ask me to pick up a machine that will help rehab his leg from Apria, a nationwide home medical supply provider. I have two choices, either to go to a town about a two hour drive from my home or to wait and get one up when I drive to Denver to pick him up at the airport tomorrow. I decide to pick it up at the town closer to our house and get it that afternoon.

Thu-April 28th
I load up the leg machine and the dogs and drive to Denver. My husband wanted to drive straight home from the airport but I convince him that it would be better if we stay at my sisters for the night. When we get there he falls asleep on the couch and when he wakes up admits he is glad we are staying the night.

Fri-April 29th
Wake up to another snowstorm and decide not to drive home today. Storm not that bad in town and I drive my niece to school. As we are driving I realize that each time I have driven my niece to school during the last two weeks it has been effortless. No matter what lane I am in it is the correct lane to be in. I will move over from one lane to the other, not know why, and after I do the person three cars ahead of me in the lane I just left will slow down to turn causing the other cars in that lane to stop. Another time I am in a lane moving quickly when, just before a turn in the road, I move over to the other lane. Then as I round the corner I see a city bus stopped and watch in the rear view mirror as the cars in the lane I was just in come to a complete stop. I don't second guess myself, I just follow every "whim" and drift though traffic. At every moment I am exactly where I should be at that exact moment.

Then I am aware of the fact that my life has had that same feeling of being exactly where I should be at that moment ever since I dropped my husband off at the airport. It is the same way I felt on my walk but without the dreaminess. I was worried that during the time I spent at home without my husband I would get anxious and depressed like I usually do when he is gone. His leaving always taps into that fear of being abandoned that is left over from my childhood and buried deep inside me. But this time the fear didn't materialize and I now think it is gone forever. I don't know why and I don't know how but it is gone.

When I get back from taking my niece to school my husband and I drive across town to the Apria store in Littleton to trade the machine we have for another one. The one I got has a problem and is making a grinding noise when in use. When we get back I take my dogs for a walk at the dog park.

At the park I talk to another dog owner who turns out to be a student Vet Tech. I ask her if she would look at Kate's wound because I'm not sure if it is healing well. I noticed it was slightly swollen last night. She looks at it and says it looks like it might be infected so I walk the dogs over to my sisters Vet (who's office is two blocks away) and have him look at it. He drains blood and pus out of the wound and says it looks like a spider bite. Spider or snake bites cause the hair to fall out at the site of the bite. He gives me antibiotics and tells me to put wet hot packs on the wound for the next three days.

Sat-April 30th
We drive home and all of us, the dogs too, are glad to be here.

Kate is doing fine. Her wound has healed but the hair has not grown back.

My husband is doing great and getting around on crutches. The sound of him walking on them makes me feel like I am living with a pirate. When he walks the crutches make a big thump as he sets them down and then a metallic clicking sound. So when he walks around the house I hear, "Thump-click, thump-click, thump-click."

I guess there were some milestones. I know my fear of abandonment is gone. I know what it feels like to live your life in the present, which I now see is what was happening those ten days. I think if you can do that, live in the present, you can plug into something that teaches you that you are always exactly where you are supposed to be in lifeand your life is easier. Its fighting the flow of your life that makes things difficult.

Oh, there were also some synchronistic things that happened during those ten day but I'm not ready to talk about them yet.

*I've linked the book titles to but only because it is easy to do.

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