Hockey

Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental.
Jim McKenny

My husband and I watched Slap Shot,which I consider one of the best sports movies ever, the other night. That I think this would be surprising to most people who know me since I am not a hockey fan. I mean, what can you say about a sport that gives a two minute time-out to a player who has just committed assault and battery? That's the kind of punishment you give to a small child who is throwing a temper tantrum. Mugging other people as sport? Sorry, don't get it.

Now, I have see Slap Shot before and enjoy the comedy and satire in this movie but this time I noticed something else. It was a scene where the camera was on the ice moving backward as it focused on a player as he weaved through other players toward his opponent's goal while guarding the puck with his stick. At that instant I saw the beauty of motion that is hidden in the game. It took my breath away. I knew that if the sport wasn't so violent I could learn to love it but for that to happen something would have to change. Something would have to be done to make it less violent but what?

The time outs. Since the sport is using a child's form of punishment let's hand out the punishments the way we do with children. When a child is given a time out the length of said time out is decided by the age of the child- one minute of time out for each year. So, a two year old gets a two minute time out, a three year old a three minute time out, and so on.

So here is the new rule. Penalty time outs will now be based on the age of the player. Eighteen year olds get an eighteen minute time out, twenty-two year olds get a twenty-two minute time out, and so on. Make the time fit the crime and the age and supposed maturity of the player.