Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Music Is The Soundtrack Of Your Life

Film makers know this and use it as a quick way to set time and place in their movies. Some songs make you smile when you hear them again, as they remind you of a happy time in your life, others bring sadness, as they remind you of something else. For me, the Dixie Cups' hit song Chapel of Love was connected with the time my siblings and I spent in a foster home. The women who ran it had a granddaughter who visited one day and kept singing this song over and over while she played in her grandmother's backyard. It took me years to get over the negative feelings that this song brought up in me.



Goin' to the chapel and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel and we're
Gonna get married
Gee, I really love you and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel of love

Spring is here
The sky is blue
(whoa-whoa-whoa)
Birds all sing
As if they knew
Today's the day
We'll say I do
And we'll never be lonely anymore

Because we're

Goin' to the chapel and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel and we're
Gonna get married
Gee, I really love you and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel of love

Bells will ring
The sun will shine
(whoa-whoa-whoa)
I'll be his and
He'll be mine
We'll love until
The end of time
And we'll never be lonely anymore

Because we're

Goin' to the chapel and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel and we're
Gonna get married
Gee, I really love you and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel of love
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Goin' to the chapel of love
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Goin' to the chapel of love
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)



One song that I don't think I will ever get over is Maria Muldaur's Midnight at the Oasis. It is the song that I connect with my first love affair. One that, with my help, ended badly. When I found this YouTube clip and listened to it the old feelings of sadness, panic, and unhappiness surfaced.



Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
Shadows paintin' our faces
Traces of romance in our heads

Heaven's holdin' a half-moon
Shinin' just for us
Let's slip off to a sand dune, real soon
And kick up a little dust

Come on, Cactus is our friend
He'll point out the way
Come on, 'til the evenin' ends
'Til the evenin' ends

You don't have to answer
There's no need to speak
I'll be your belly dancer, prancer
And you can be my sheik

[Instrumental Interlude]

I know your Daddy's a sultan
A nomad known to all
With fifty girls to attend him, they all send him
Jump at his beck and call

But you won't need no harem, honey
When I'm by your side
And you won't need no camel, no no
When I take you for a ride

Come on, Cactus is our friend
He'll point out the way
Come on, 'til the evenin' ends
'Til the evenin' ends

Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
Got shadows paintin' our faces
And traces of romance in our heads

Oh, come on...



There are two songs that I connect with my father, Bruce Springsteen's Hungry Heart and BR5 49's Lifetime to Prove. Both are the story of his life. Change the first line of Hungry Heart to, "Got a wife and kids in Denver town, Jack, I went out for a ride and I never went back," and it's his story.



Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back
Like a river that don't know where it's flowing
I took a wrong turn and I just kept going

Everybody's got a hungry heart
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody's got a hungry heart

I met her in a Kingstown bar
We fell in love I knew it had to end
We took what we had and we ripped it apart
Now here I am down in Kingstown again

Everybody's got a hungry heart
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody's got a hungry heart

Everybody needs a place to rest
Everybody wants to have a home
Don't make no difference what nobody says
Ain't nobody like to be alone

Everybody's got a hungry heart
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody's got a hungry heart


I could not find a clip of BR5 49 singing Lifetime to Prove but here are the lyrics:

My pockets are empty though my wife has sent me
To the store for some cigarettes and bread
I started walking there got as far as the square
Then the smell of beer went to my head
The thing about beer it can make a man hear
Voices from days long since past
And with every third drink it'll make you think
That your youth will always last
No matter which way you move, it takes a lifetime to prove
To yourself I could have been more
I got one foot in the door I just want one more

I thought of a time when my future was mine
It didn't matter what anyone said
I was handsome and strong and when I walked along
I stood erect and looked straight ahead
But then I lost my fight, "goin' to" turned to "might"
Somewhere along the line I lost my will
And now I'm sittin' here my life full of beer
And I try to pretend it's not real
No matter which way you move, it takes a lifetime to prove
To yourself I have been before
I got one foot in the door I just want one more

These days I barely survive on lot number five
In the mobile acres on the eastside of town
I swore this kind of life I'd never lead
I guess I let too many things get me down
If my pappy could see what they done to me
I swear he'd march down there and make it all right
But he's long since gone and I'm old enough now
I should be able to fight my own fight
No matter which way you move, it takes a lifetime to prove
To yourself I could have been more
I got one foot in the door I just want one more


My dad to a T, a man who's life was full of beer and who always blamed others for his problems.


As for my mother, when I first heard the song Easy to be Hard
from the musical Hair these lyrics jumped out at me:

Especially people who care about strangers
Who care about evil and social injustice
Do you only care about bleeding crowd
How about a needing friend, I need a friend


And I thought about my mother. She was out fighting social injustice and our lives were in chaos. How could she care about others more than us? I'm still pondering that question.



How can people be so heartless
How can people be so cruel
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cold

How can people have no feelings
You know I'm hung up on you
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no

Especially people
Who care about strangers
Who care about evil
And social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd?
How about a needing friend?
I need a friend

How can people be so heartless
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to give in
Easy to help out

Especially people
Who care about strangers
Who say they care about social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd
How about a needing friend?
I need a friend

How can people have no feelings
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to be hard
Easy to help out
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no


As I listen to or think about these songs again, I can see I have moved on as they no longer bring up sad feelings for me. I will always connect these songs with certain places and people but I can now enjoy them without the extra baggage I once attached to them....well, except for Midnight at the Oasis, that one I am still working on.

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