Is It Friday?

I've been walking around all morning thinking it was Saturday. What the heck, I just pretend it is Saturday which means I won't write a real post but instead make this little scrap of fluff my blog post for the day. Have a great weekend everyone.

What's The Story, Morning Glory?

What's the word, humming bird?
Have you heard about Hugo and Kim?
-The Telephone Hour from Bye Bye Birdie

I found this in the Personals of the Denver Post this morning:

PAT- I thought I could
carry our baggage
with you but it is too
heavy. Some thought
you changed your tune
because of “W”. Un-
like those who you
rightly claim all are, I
have believed in ethical
behavior and truth.
Please contact me
for a first-time acknowl-
edgement and the im-
plementation of the pri-
vate, partial solution I
implied. Hug our
daughter for us.
KENNY- Co. Springs.

I think he is being very sincere...well, except for that believing in ethical behavior part. If that was true he would not have placed this ad in the paper in the first place.

The Past Is Such A Curious Creature

To look her in the Face
A Transport may receipt us
Or a Disgrace —
Emily Dickinson (1830–1886)

I have been busy at Ancestry.com for the last couple of days and have found this searching family roots thing is more complected that I thought it would be. The biggest problem with using Ancestry.com is the "garbage in, garbage out" part of it. When you start building your family tree the site will automatically connect you to information provided by other members family trees. I had the pleasure of watching a long line of ancestors reaching back to the 1700's being added to one line of my tree on Monday.

Now, Ancestry.com has access to millions of records (called sources) that you can link to (creating a paper trail of records). showing that the ancestry links you have created are valid. This is good because when you have branches of your family tree magically appearing based on family links created by other people it is good to check their work.

These new names sometimes have a small green leave next to them called "Ancestry hints" and clicking on one takes you to a page that list records and/or a link to another page which shows profile boxes containing all the information other families have collected about person you are checking on. After determining that the person you have on your tree is the same as the person in the other profile boxes you can merge their information into your tree. I have learned to only merge boxes that have sources listed because unsourced family trees usually have one or two bits of information that do not match the other family trees. Not have sources leaves you with no way to validate this information.

As I wrote above, on Monday I had a new line of relatives to check out and spent the day linking to records and merging other members family information into my tree. This is time consuming and while I was methodically connecting the relationship dots I had a nagging suspicion that I was missing something. I went back to the person whose name first linked me to this extended line and realized that this supposed father of my true relative was born almost a hundred years after him. I deleted the name and watched as my "not connected to me" family line disappeared.

Lessons Learned: Pay more attention to the birth/death dates and be less trusting of the connections made by other members.

I'm An Ape Man

Come on and love me, be my apeman girl,
And we'd be so happy in my apeman world.
- I'm An Apeman by The Kinks

I went to the post office yesterday to pick up the mail and there on top of the pile was a letter from my State Representative Jerry Moran addressed to my husband. I flipped though the stack of mail looking for my letter but there wasn't one. I guess old Jer thinks women shouldn't be consulted about important political issues. This seems to be the thinking of many Republicans these days.

Gentlemen, this song's for you.

I think I'm sophisticated 'cos I'm living my life like a good homosapien,
But all around me everybody's multiplying and they're walking round like flies, man,

So I'm no better than the animals sitting in their cages in the zoo, man,
'Cos compared to the flowers and the birds and the trees, I am an apeman.

I think I'm so educated and I'm so civilized 'cos I'm a strict vegetarian,
But with the over-population and inflation and starvation and the crazy politicians,

I don't feel safe in this world no more,
I don't want to die in a nuclear war,
I want to sail away to a distant shore and make like an ape man.

I'm an apeman, I'm an ape, apeman, Oh, I'm an apeman,
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man, oh I'm an apeman.

'Cos compared to the sun that sits in the sky,
Compared to the clouds as they roll by,
Compared to the bugs and the spiders and flies,
I am an apeman.

In man's evolution he has created the city and the motor traffic rumble,
But give me half a chance and I'd be taking off my clothes and living in the jungle.

'Cos the only time that I feel at ease,
Is swinging up and down in a coconut tree,
Oh, what a life of luxury, to be like an apeman.

I'm an apeman, I'm an ape, apeman, Oh, I'm an apeman,
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man, I am an ape man.

I look out the window, but I can't see the sky,
The air pollution is fogging up my eyes,
I want to get out of this city alive,
And make like an ape man.

Come on and love me, and be my apeman girl,
And we'd be so happy in my apeman world.

I'm an apeman, I'm an ape, apeman, Oh, I'm an apeman,
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man, Oh, I'm an apeman.

I'll be your Tarzan, you'll be my Jane,
I'll keep you warm and you'll keep me sane,
And we'll sit in the trees and eat bananas all day,
Just like an apeman.

I'm an apeman, I'm an ape, apeman, Oh, I'm an apeman,
I'm a King Kong man, I'm a voo-doo man, Oh, I'm an ape man.

I don't feel safe in this world no more
I don't want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore
And make like an apeman.

La,la,la,la,la,la,la,la
La, la, la

You Put A Spell On Me

If you scroll down and look at my book list you will see that I have been reading myths, folklore, and fairy tales. I've just finished reading Children of Odin, based on Norse mythology. I was struck by the fact that a lot of myth stories reappear centuries later in another form and another culture- one such story being the tale of Brynhild, one of Odin's Valkyries, who he punishes for disobeying him by doing the following:

Then on the top of the mountain that is called Hindfell he had a Hall built that faced the south. Ten Dwarfs built it of black stone. And when the Hall was built he put round it a wall of mounting and circling fire.

More did Odin All-Father: he took a thorn of the Tree of Sleep and he put it into the flesh of the battle-maiden. Then, with her helmet on her head and the breast-mail of the Valkyrie upon her, he lifted Brynhild in his arms and carried her through the wall of mounting and circling fire. He laid her upon the couch that was within the Hall. There she would lie in slumber until the hero was without fear should ride through the flame and waken her to the life of a mortal woman.

This, of course, is the story of Sleeping Beauty, A.K.A. Briar Rose from Grimm's Fairy Tales. Both narratives have a beautiful young women falling under a spell that puts them into a deep sleep for many years.

Now, since myths and fairy tales are humankind's attempt to give explanation to things they do not understand religiously and/or scientifically, could these stories be about women who, like me, suffer from severe allergies every Spring and needed more sleep than is considered normal?

Or did someone put a spell on me?

Angel Kisses

I was taking a walk around town yesterday afternoon when I passed a woman who was raking her yard with the help of two small puppies. When the puppies saw me they ran over to say hi and I stopped to pet them. One of them had the same light brown marks over his eyes that Little Sally Pumpkinhead has over hers. I mentioned this to the woman saying my husband calls them eyebrows. She told me they aren't called eyebrows but kiss marks and are created when an angel kisses a dog right before it is born. A delightful explanation that warmed my heart and made me feel good.

Somewhere on the praire

Dorothy lived in the midst of the great Kansas prairies, with Uncle Henry, who was a farmer, and Aunt Em, who was the farmer's wife. Their house was small, for the lumber to build it had to be carried by wagon many miles. There were four walls, a floor and a roof, which made one room; and this room contained a rusty looking cookstove, a cupboard for the dishes, a table, three or four chairs, and the beds. Uncle Henry and Aunt Em had a big bed in one corner, and Dorothy a little bed in another corner. There was no garret at all, and no cellar--except a small hole dug in the ground, called a cyclone cellar, where the family could go in case one of those great whirlwinds arose, mighty enough to crush any building in its path. It was reached by a trap door in the middle of the floor, from which a ladder led down into the small, dark hole.
The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz by L. Frank Baum (1856-1919)

It Was 20 Years Ago Today

Day Lily

Happy Anniversary, Honey.

A Rose By Any Other Name

Jesus

Allah

Jehovah

Buddha

Yahweh

Krishna

Gaia

Vishnu

Kami

Jah

Ik

Ahura Mazda

Goddess

...is still God.

Angel, Heal Thyself

Play Day

Do you know where you're going? Play Lufthansa to Europe: Virtual Pilot now!*





*Warning: This game is extremely addictive. Play at your own risk.

The Wind

Lillian Gish telling the wind to get out of town in the film The Wind (1928)
I know how she feels. Yesterday we had winds gusting up to 70 MPH. I made the mistake of walking to the post office to pick up the mail and had to fight every inch of the way. The force of the wind was bad enough but the noise, I have never been in a wind storm that roared the way this one did. It was the sound of a gigantic truck engine revving over and over and over.

With apologies to Dr. Seuss.

I do not like the wind, it's true,
I do not like it, how about you?
I do not like it when it roars,
I do not like it when it snores.
I do not like it bending trees,
I do not like it bending me.
I do not like it around my house,
I fear it more I do a mouse.
The way it rattles, rocks and rolls,
I feel it right down to my toes.
I do not like the wind, you see,
I wish the wind would let me be.

Spirit In The Sky

I believe in God, no ifs, and, or buts about it. Well, one but, I don't believe that God is a man and looks like this:

To be fair, I don't believe God is a women either. All you have to do is start reading the bible to figure that out. Heck, you don't even have to get that far into it to discover this fact. A quick perusal the story of Adam and Eve will show you this isn't so.

As we all know, God told Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of knowledge but the devil disguised as a snake talked Eve into taking a bite of the forbidden fruit, who in turn gave it to Adam to try. God found out and became angry. Adam being the weasel that he was blamed the whole thing on Eve saying she was the one who told him to eat it. This is the point where, if God was a women, "she" would have asked, "If Eve told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?"

Prove positive that God is not a women.

Anyway back to God as a man. I know the bible says that man is created in God's image but what does that really mean?


This is drawing of a person that I created in my own image. It is just like me in that it has a head, body, arms and legs. It is nothing like me in that it has no face, no mouth, no nose, no eyes, no feet or hands, no ears, no brain, and no skin. It can't move, it can't breath, it can't think, it can't eat, it can't see. The biggest difference between us is that my little stick me is only two dimensional (It only has height and width.) while I am three dimensional (I have height, width and depth). This is the reason why my stick figure cannot get up and walk around while I can move in any direction in space that I want too. Now, if this stick person represents us as human beings in relation to God what must God be like?

But what if God isn't talking about our bodies? What if God is talking about what is most important to God, our Souls? What if it is our Souls that are made in God's image? Then there is no reason for sexism or racism because in God's eyes we are all the same. What a wonderful world it could be.

Where Is Love?

Does it fall from skies above?
-Where Is Love from the musical Oliver!

As someone once asked, isn't the role of religion to create compassion in people? I've always thought so but evidently there are many people who do not agree with this interpretation and the ones who do not seem to be more than willing to share their intolerant religious views with the rest of the world. In the last few months I have been reading about or listening to people condemn others based on their (the person condemning) interpretation of the bible and/or their belief that their religion is the one and only true way to God.

-We have people passing out religious leaflets saying women who dress "provocatively" are responsible for being raped.

-We have FoxNews commentator Brit Hume saying Tiger Wood can only be forgiven for committing adultery if he gives up Buddhism and becomes a Christian.

-We have Christian evangelist Pat Robertson saying that the earthquake in Haiti happened because the people of that country are being punished for making a pact with the devil.

How can people who call themselves Christian and supposedly follow the teachings of "the prince of peace" be so reactionary and judgmental? I think Mark Twain explains it perfectly:

In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.

And where is this leading, you ask? To me writing down my own thoughts about the bible and religion. Starting next week I will begin a series of blog posts called The Gospel According to Colleen in which I will explain my biblical and religious views. I am not sure where this will lead but I do expect it to be interesting....well, at least for me and hopefully for you, too.

It's Always Something

I've got both dogs on injured reserve this week. Little Sally Pumpkinhead had a reaction at the site of her rattlesnake booster shot and Duke may have blown the knee in his back left leg this morning. We have an vet appointment for him this afternoon. Hopefully the vet will tell us it is only a pulled muscle.

Update (4:41 PM): I'm glad to report it was only a pulled muscle.

One Nation Under God

I've been thinking about a letter that was in the weekly town newspaper a few months ago. It was filled with anti-Obama/anti-Democratic Party/ant-liberal, let's call everyone who supports health care a socialist, pro-Christian rhetoric. It even said that the fact that our money includes the phrase "In God We Trust" proves we are a Christian country.

I disagree, not with the fact that our money has the phrase In God We Trust written on it, it does, I disagree with the assumption that this means we are a Christian country. If that was true our money would read, In One Religion We Trust and the last time I checked, just a minute ago, it doesn't.

After reading the letter I played with the idea of writing my own letter to the Editor which took this Christian Nation idea to its logical conclusion. If we take the next step in truly becoming a Christian Nation then Christianity must become the nation's religion, the State Religion to be exact, but what type of Christians are we going to be, Lutherans, Baptists, Mormons, Jehovah Witness, or some other sect?

Lets see, there are three branches of Lutherans (The Wisconsin Synod, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod); 100 branches of Baptists (separated into Free and General Baptists, Strict and Particular Baptists, and Seventh Day Baptists); two major branches of Mormonism (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. There are also a lot of little branches of Mormonism including one that still practices polygamy (United Order Effort) but there is only branch in the Jehovah Witness tree.

If we base our decision on which sect's message has been, lets say, "diluted" the least, well, we all are going to have to convert to Jehovah Witness-ism. I know, I know, it's not fair. Why should we all have to become a member of a Christian group who in 2001 only made up only 6% of all the Christians in the United States. We should do this democratically and make our choice based strictly on which denomination has the greatest number of adherents in this country.

Congratulations everyone, we are now officially Catholics. I'll see you all at Mass this Sunday.

“To understand the world, you must first understand a place like Mississippi”

-William Faulkner (1897-1962) American author

Last month a federal court ruled that a Mississippi school district violated a teenage girl's constitutional rights by not allowing her to invite her girlfriend to her high school prom. The school actually canceled the prom to keep her from attending but the other student's parents agreed to hold a prom off campus for all students. Instead they set up two proms, a sham one for girl and another one of the rest of the students.

Thank you, Mississippi, for being strong enough to stay on the path of ignorance. No wonder you rank second to last as Best Educated State and last as Best State to Live.

UPDATE (12:45 PM): It wasn't only the gay kids sent to the fake prom, they also sent two learning-disabled students.

How I Spent Most Of My Saturday

Over at Vanity Plates: Creepiness in 8 Characters or Less.


Pop quiz, hotshot. There are just not enough spaces on the license plate for you to say what you want to say. What do you do? What do you do? Easy, add your own letters.



Sometimes it's worth it to spend the extra money on a specialized plates in addition to the money you've already laid out to be able to decide what letters and numbers you want on your plate.

You know who this message is for don't you? The aliens who will suck you out of your car if you aren't wearing your seat belt.

Thinking Of Buying An iPad?

(Click on image to enlarge. Click on image again to make it even larger.)
Via BBspot.

Things You Can Use As An Egg Holder

Over at Blue Witch's site her Friday Question has an Easter theme this week, "Which is the most unusual place you can use as an egg cup?" In addition to answers she is requesting photos and links-if you care to join in.

Everybody Plays The Fool

-The Main Ingredient

Okay, so your heart's broken
You sit around mopin'
Cryin' and cryin'
You say you`re even thinkin' about dyin'
Well, before you do anything rash, dig this

Everybody plays the fool, sometimes
There's no exception to the rule
Listen, baby, it may be factual, may be cruel
I ain't lyin', everybody plays the fool

Falling in love is such an easy thing to do
And there's no guarantee that the one you love
Is gonna love you

Oh-oh-oh, lovin' eyes they cannot see
A certain person could never be
Love runs deeper than any ocean
It clouds your mind with emotion

Everybody plays the fool, sometime
There's no exception to the rule
Listen, baby, it may be factual, may be cruel
I want to tell ya
Everybody plays the fool

How can you help it when the music starts to play
And your ability to reason, is swept away
Oh-oh-oh, heaven on earth is all you see
You're out of touch with reality
And now you cry but when you do
Next time around someone cries for you

Everybody plays the fool, sometime
They use your heart like a tool
Listen, baby, they never tell you so in school
I want to say it again
Everybody plays the fool

Listen to me, baby
Everybody plays the fool, sometime
(No exception)
No exception to the rule
It may be factual, may be cruel, sometime
But everybody plays the fool
Listen, listen, baby
Everybody plays the fool, sometimes