At the beginning of this COVID mess I had big plans. Get up early, sew, color a page out of one of my coloring books each morning, study Spanish, bake my own bread, make my own yogurt, and work in my garden. Now I am at the point where I am still in my PJs at 10:00 in the morning and wondering if there is really any reason to get dressed.
I was just outside removing chair cushions from the lawn furniture to get ready for tomorrow's storm. That's when I discover that we not only had smokey air last night, we had wood ash floating down. The wood ash has been lightly sprinkled over everything outside and left a line of burnt particles in front of the garage door.
I went to the Vet to refill some meds for Belle and on the way home I stopped at 7-Eleven. While paying for my stuff a women came up and stood beside me (thank god she was wearing a mask) and placed a 7-Eleven large cup of pop on the counter next to me. The clerk notice that she had taken two cups, one inside the other, and told her that she should not have taken two because larger cups were more expensive to order. The women pulled the outside cup off and then put all the fingers of one hand inside the cup as she placed it on counter. I don't know if the clerk put the cup back but I do know that watching that woman set that cup down was probably the way she and a lot of other people normally pulled cups apart when then accidentally grabbed more than one cup. I'm so glad I've never bought self-serve fountain drinks from 7-Eleven.
Yesterday morning when I got up I felt energized by the morning light. Something was different. Then I realized there was no wildfire smoke in the air. The light was "clearer."
This afternoon I went out for a walk and put my amber tinted sunglasses on. When I stepped outside I thought, "Whoa." I hadn't notice that when we had smokey air it had turned the sunlight the same yellowish color. Kind of interesting.
I've been dreaming about my dog Dusty (He died in January) for over a week now. At first he was just in the background of my dreams but the night before last he came close enough to me so that I could pick him up. I was carrying him through a field and the next instance we were in the work pit of an old garage that was filled with water. I struggled to get him out of the pit. After I set him up on the concrete I woke up. Last night Belle was also in my dream and both he and Belle stayed close together. Belle and I were the only ones in the dream who could see Dusty. That I found out when I ask other people in the dream if they could see him. Everyone I asked said no. Now I wonder why I am dreaming about Dusty every night.
Two months ago Belle had a seizure. The Vet gave us seizure medication but said she wasn't sure just why it had happened and that it could be from a brain tumor. About a month ago Belle had another seizure. The Vet increased Belle's medication and said she was now sure it was a brain tumor. She could not say how long Belle had before the tumor would end her life but it was probably no more than a year. We have accepted the fact that Belle will not be with us a year from now and are just enjoying each day we have with her.
So, about the dreams. Am I dreaming about Dusty because he wants me to know he is here? Am I dreaming about Dusty because he wants me know that he will be here to be with Belle when it is her time to leave us? Is he here to tell me that when Belle does leave she won't be alone? Is he here to tell me that her time is closer than I thought? I am OK with all these reasons but I am worried that the last question is the main reason why he is here.
